Don't hold your breath.

I haven't written a blog post in so long, I don't know that I remember how to even write. My last post was in January and quite a bit has happened since January.

I intended to keep this blog as a journal to remember things that our Hadley girl does and says. To remember the things we do as a family. But I haven't kept up with it well, at all. I've just been living life and enjoying the memories. I just hope one day I don't forget ;)

Let's see. In February... (btw, I don't know how to spell February. I always misspell it. Spell check is always quick to remind me. Sad part is, my birthday is in February.)

*I got into a car wreck -- THE DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY, nonetheless. Don't worry: It was not my fault. The other people did have insurance. I was ok {minus the sprained ankle that still hurts}.

*Hadley wore her first pair of overalls. She calls overalls "papa's" because her Papa Ronnie wears them. Papa's are her favorite thing to wear if she has a choice.

*Hadley also rode a horse for the first time {the same day she wore her "papa's" for the first time}. She was supposed to be having "Daddy Day," but that quickly turned into a day trip to Locust Grove with her grandparents to go see her cousins and aunt and uncle. They have a few horse at their house. Hadley now loves riding horses. But when you ask her if she wants a horse she says, "No. Laun Laun." I guess she figures she doesn't need one because Aunt Laun Laun has a horse for her to ride.

*I started this thing called the L.O.V. {Lifestyle of Vitality} Challenge. It is a fitness/health challenge. It started Feb. 16 then I got into the car wreck Feb. 18. So The Challenge has been quite the challenge. From the car wreck, I got a sprained ankle with soft tissue tearing. It doesn't sound that bad, but it was horrible. So much so that I had to wear a walking cast {THE BOOT!} for almost two months. Then I have also been sick at least once a month since October. Long story short: I had pneumonia and no one knew. It was never properly diagnosed or treated. Doing The Challenge has been a real struggle for me. I wasn't able to start the way I wanted. I've been sick the entire time. I haven't gotten the results that I've wanted {which I do know is also because I haven't taken responsibility and changed my eating like I should have...Hello.}And quite honestly, I hate being as busy as it makes me. The Challenge involves: ZUMBA, Personal Training, working out on your own, food log conversations, cooking classes, guest speakers, styling sessions. I mean, really it's amazing. It really is. But I hate being busy. There have been many occasions that I want to quit. But I figure even if I haven't gotten the results I wanted or have had many set backs, the least I can do is finish.

In March...

*Hadley started sleeping on a pillow like a big girl.

*We had Easter. The Easter bunny brought Hadley a pretty nice basket of goodies. She got some: Bible story books, side walk chalk, a new Dora cup, stickers, a cookies&creme candy bunny, a stuffed bunny {who she thinks is the real Easter bunny}, a Dora hat, and a new pair of sandals for summer. Oh, and I can't forget, some caramel filled chocolate eggs. She had four of those stinkin' eggs before we even made it out of the door for church. I don't think she has ever eaten so much candy in her little life. After church we went to my grandparents house for lunch. She got to play outside with her cousin Grace and her new side walk chalk, which she loved!

In April...

*We had a Mommy/Hadley date and went to Chik-Fil-A, played, then went to Target. Baby girl loves Target :)

*April was also a pretty crazy month for our family. Lee's Great-Grandmother {91 years old} became very sick. She had a hernia on her side that was no longer operable. Periodically, the hernia would become infected and cause her problems. Daily it caused her physical pain because it was so large and heavy that it hurt her back. To make a long story short, her body became septic with toxins. She was in the hospital for about a week, but after a long battle with this hernia and Alzheimer's and dementia, we lost sweet Nanny Von. But because we know she had a relationship with the Lord, it was not hard to see her go. Of course, you never want to lose a family member or someone you love, but you don't want to see them suffer either. She went peacefully. I really feel like Hadley understood what happened. Maybe not to the full extent, but she understands. She tells me {almost daily} that Grandma {or as she says "Mom-Mom"} is with Jesus. She knows.

Now we are in May. So far...

*Hadley discovered that there is an ambulance truck at The Grand, in the Kids Club. She claims this truck to be her "Daddy truck!" She doesn't think anyone else should get to play with this truck. If they do she screams "HEY!! MINE!! Daddy truck!!!"

*Hadley and Helton had a popcorn party!

*We celebrated our 2nd {I guess, technically third?!} Mother's Day. "Hadley" got me a new iPhone. Bless her heart :) She made me a craft at church that she is very proud of, still today.

*Hadley experienced her first Zumba {or as she says, "MOOBA"} class. I was going to leave her in Kids Club, but she cried when I tried to leave her and I felt bad for the girl working because she was already supposed to be off work. I ended up taking Hadley with me to our meeting before Zumba. Then we went upstairs to Zumba. I'm not sure what she thought Zumba was because when we got there she kept asking for it. For the first two songs, she just sat on the mats in the corner. Then I told her that Zumba is a dance class. She said "ok" and got up and preceeded to dance the rest of the class. She was so hilarious. And so GOOD! She tried to do all the moves. When we left she was all sweaty and kept rubbing her legs saying "OW!" I guess she worked out pretty hard. She talked about Zumba the rest of the night and the next day.

*As of two days ago, I had to take Hadley to Urgent Care because she had been acting funny for two days. Then she started running fever. Then I saw white spots on her tongue. STREP! Now she is on antibiotics and is acting much better. I know strep is miserable so I feel bad for her :( We've been spending lots of time at home...playing and napping.

We are going on a weekend "vacation" next weekend to celebrate our anniversary. We aren't doing anything big or fancy. We are just heading to the city to visit some friends. We didn't do anything last year so we figured we could do a little something this year. Hopefully I'll update again soon. But don't hold your breath. You'll probably pass out before that happens ;)

Little precious moments: to remember

I love the way you:

*Shake your little head 'yes' or 'no'.

*Call your pacifier 'Bee'

*Say 'Bye-bye! See ya!' 

*I love the way you say "DORA! DORA!" 

*I love that when I ask you if your name is "Ruthie" you say yes. Not only do you say yes, but when I call you Ruthie, to get your attention, you actually respond to it. Love my little Ruthie girl. 

*I love that when we brush your hair you whisper "pretty, pretty!" 

*I love that you are very particular about what songs you like to listen to when we drive in the car. You're current favorite is the Pitch Perfect sound track. You love HEY MICKEY!

*I love the way you say "Banana." It's everybody's favorite.

*I love when you go down the slide you yell "weeeeeee!!!" 

*I love the way you hold your hands to pray. 

*I love the way you try and say "Love you," but most the time it just comes out as "YOUUUU!" 

...I love everything you do. 

18 months: little love letters

-Growth:
*You are 24 pounds.
*You are exactly 2 ft. tall. 
*You are wearing 18 or 24 month sized clothes.
*You are wearing size 4 or 5 shoes, depending on the shoe of course. 

-Eating: I hate to say this, but I feel like you're becoming a little bit of a picky eater, like Mommy.
*When we go to work, 3 times a week, you don't really eat "meals." You just like to snack all day.
*Some of your favorite snacks include: pretzels, popcorn, chips...anything crunchy really.
*Another one of your favorite snacks is mixed fruit. You're obsessed with eating a bowl of strawberries, grapes, and sliced banana.
*Your newest discovery is yogurt. You really enjoy it. I'm not sure if it's because you really like it or if it's because it has Dora on the package?
*You also recently discovered granola cereal. You love to snack on that as well.

-Sleeping:
*You still love to sleep.
*You usually take a nap from about 1:30 or 2 until 4. Sometimes, if you're really sleep, we have to wake you up at 5:30!
*You still like to start getting ready for bed around 8 pm.
*You still love to have Daddy give you a bath before bed.
*Something that we started when you turned one year old is: after Daddy give you a bath, he gets you in your jammies and ready for bed. Then we all sit in your room and we read a different Bible story every night. Then we pray. I taught you how to"open, shut them" before prayer. I think Bible and prayer have become your favorite part of the night. Sometimes you ask to do it in the middle of the day before nap time. Side note: We have already read through your Children's Bible one full time since we started. Now we started over and are almost half way, again! It's the only book you will sit still and actually let me read to you.

-Developments/Events: It's been about six months since I've done a little love letter, but most of your events have been documented in other posts:
*Started going to "Kidz Klub"
*Went to the pumpkin patch
*Thanksgiving at Grandma and Punkin's house
*First family trip to Branson, MO
*Christmas
*Experienced your first "real" illness. Sure, you've had a few ear infections, but that's no biggie. On 12/28/2012 you came down with a stomach virus. You had lots of vomiting and diarrhea (TMI!) Naturally, you so lovingly passed this virus along to Mommy and Daddy. WOW! It was killer. I felt even worse for you, after I knew how horrible it was to us. Luckily, it passed after a few days.
*You've gotten most of your teeth now. You're still getting your molars.
*You've started brushing your teeth. You like doing this. But you really like the spitting part at the end.
*You discovered how to stick your tongue out. You think that's pretty funny.

My sweet Hadley girl, it has been so fun grow and change. You've changed so much just since you turned one. You learn things so quickly and are so smart. You are so funny. You are usually easy to please and easy to get along with. We are best friends. You even say so :)

I'll love you forever and ever. I promise!

Love, 

Mommy

Christmas 2012

PREFACE: GET READY FOR PICTURE OVERLOAD!

I'm a little behind on posting pictures of Christmas this year, but this is more than I can say for Thanksgiving. Naturally, I forgot to take a single picture during Thanksgiving :-/ I'm also behind on this post because all three of us have been sick. Like deathly, down for the count, SICK! There is a nasty little stomach flu going around here and it has been horrible. Today is the first day, in four days, I've started feeling better.

So here we are:

Hadley's BIG Santa present: Kitchen and PLAY ROOM!

Hadley's first reaction seeing her new play room. I think she loved it! Look at that little tongue!

Hadley checking out her kitchen. She is obsessed with cooking in it.

Nanny Wanda and Papa Ronnie bought Hadley this toy shelf for Christmas. We filled it with the toys she had already. Obviously, they seemed brand new! :)

Santa also left one more present under the Christmas tree: laptop! She walked in the room and saw it and immediately dropped to her belly to check it out.

One of the gifts Mommy and Daddy got her. Baby girl loves to sing. Naturally, she got a microphone.

After Christmas at our house, we head over to Lee's parent's and grandparent's houses. 

First stop: Nammy and Papa Brian's!

Nammy and Papa got Hadley a stroller for her baby dolls. She went right to it before she even knew it was really for her.

Nammy and Papa with their little bitys. Kind of blurry, but it was a "seize the moment" kind of picture.

Lee with his "dad hat" as he calls it. He has been wanting a hat like this for the summer in the garden.

Hadley Ruth thought she needed to try it on too!

Cousin love. My joy!

Then we went next door for Christmas at Nanny Carol and Papaw Wayne's: 

Leslie giving Nanny Carol her quilt that she (Leslie) made. The quilt is made from Carol's father's old pearl snap shirts and quilt left behind from Carol's sister, Sue. Tears all around! So sweet!

Hadley's fancy fur coat from Nanny and Papaw. Hadley girl loves coats.

Well that was our Christmas, in a nutshell. We really enjoyed Christmas this year. Hadley is at such a fun age to enjoy unwrapping gifts and seeing her excitement over her new things. She is still very much enjoying her play room and especially her kitchen. There is a great feature of her kitchen: the stove lights up and makes "sizzling and cooking" noises. When she turns it on she always warns me, "HOT! HOT!" Sweet girl! She is spending most of her time either cooking us food in her kitchen or sitting at her new table and chairs (also from Nanny Carol and Papaw Wayne) playing on her laptop. She is still as busy as ever.

Fatcation 2012.

Most people dream of going on big elaborate vacations. Maybe some place like Paris. Or Spain. Me? My only request was to go to Branson, MO during the holidays. I wanted to see the lights and the pretties. This year, I was pleasantly surprised when Lee suggested we go this year! Along with me, Lee, and Hadley came my grandparents, my aunt, uncle, and cousin, Lee's parents, and his brother.

We left on a Friday morning and headed that way. We stopped in Springfield, MO at Bass Pro. We were hoping to see the aquarium that has been under construction for years. Well, of course, it was still under construction. That was disappointing, but since it was Christmas time there was tons of Hadley to do. She rode the carousal 3 times. She wasn't too sure about it at first, but after the first go 'round - she loved it. 
  

When we left Bass Pro we went to lunch at Lambert's Cafe. This is where we met up with my family. Usually the wait to get into Lambert's is about 1 or even 2 hours. We were fully expecting a long wait. Somehow we got in in less than 10 minutes. Lucky! We all ate lots of rolls and lots of food. Hadley was so funny. Every time the man throwing the rolls would come out, she would throw her hands in the air. But he never saw her. We finally caught his attention and he came over and "tossed" her her own roll. She was so excited. Sweet baby!

 

My mother-in-law, Tracey, and her ridiculously large salad. I couldn't stop starring at it!

 

 Hadley "catching" her roll. 

Lambert's is only about 30 minutes outside of Branson, so we got there shortly after lunch. We checked into our hotel and got settled in our rooms. Then we decided to hit up the Tanger Outlit Mall. We weren't too impressed overall. I've been there before and have found much better deals. I'm not really sure if I wasn't looking in the right spots or if it was just bad timing. Oh, and for once, I didn't buy anything at the COACH outlit. I didn't see anything I just couldn't live without. 

That night we had reservations for the Dixie Stampede. I love love love the "regular" Dixie Stampede. I was very impressed with the Christmas show. It was the best live Nativity I've ever seen. The only bad thing about it was, we were stuffed. We were stuffed from lunch. It was a terrible decision to eat Lambert's and the Dixie Stampede in 1 day! Hence why the renamed this vacation to "fat"cation.

Saturday we spent the morning shopping at The Landing. Saturday afternoon we went to Silver Dollar City. I normally love SDC. I've dreamed of going during the holidays. BUT it will never happen again. It was so busy. So crazy. So packed! That it wasn't even really enjoyable. Plus, it was pretty cold. It took 1 hour just to get to the parking spot then another 30 minutes waiting to get into the park. Madness, I tell you! We stayed long enough to see all the lights "officially" light up for the night, but left shortly after. We didn't even stay for the parade. Oh well, Hadley loved it for the few hours we were there. Hopefully, we can take her back another time so she can enjoy the rides without it being so busy. 

 

Hadley and Daddy at SDC after going through the fun house. 

 

Hadley and Mommy in SDC.

 

Daddy and Hadley looking at the lights.

An Ordinary Woman

I was recently contacted by The Aegis Element to write a little bit of my experience, thus far, with motherhood. The Aegis Element is a non-profit organization that provides care to women who have escaped and survived human trafficking. They aid in helping women recover, restore, and find their perfect skill set in order to reengage in society.

I'm particularly proud of and support The Aegis Element because it was co-founded by one of my nearest and dearest friends, Sarah.  Sarah is one of my very best friends from college. We had a rough start, but it developed into one of my most cherished friendships. I'm proud to call her my friend. But more importantly, I'm proud of her for following her passion and the plans God has laid on her life.

When Sarah contacted me, she asked me to talk about the relationship a mother has with their child. The feelings that come up when you know you are about to bring life into the world. This was the article: {You can also read it here on The Aegis Element's blog.}

***********

Before having a child of my own, I'm going to be honest, I never thought that much about the relationship between Jesus and his mother, Mary. To be really honest, I never thought about it. At all. She was a virgin. Immaculate conception occurred. She birthed the Savior of the world. It sounds crazy! Not be "belittle" the power of God, but don't all Bible stories sound a little crazy? Jesus healed the blind man. Jesus walked on water. Jesus, even, raised a man from the dead. So, of course (!!!) He was born of a virgin. It only makes sense.

But the more I think about it the more obsessed (if you will..) with the story I become. I mean, my pregnancy was planned. Of course, it was also part of God's bigger plan, but it was also a conscious decision to bring a child into this world. We prepared for this baby (girl). We painted her room. We bought her things to ensure that she had the best life we could offer her. We were excited. I cannot imagine how Mary, a soon-to-be-wed-but-nonetheless-virgin, must have felt. This was not in her plans! She must have been terrified. Even with the words, "Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God" {Luke 1:30, NIV}I would have still freaked out.

I cannot imagine carrying a child that I didn't plan, that was the Son of God, AND knowing that one day I would have to give Him away. She knew that Jesus was sent with a greater purpose. We are all were born with a purpose, but no purpose held such a great weight as Jesus' did. Jesus felt the weight of his responsibility. As it was recorded {Matthew 26: 38 - 39, NIV}, 38]"Then he said to them, 'My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.' 39]Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." He then asks again {Matthew 26: 42, NIV}, "He went away a second time and prayed, 'My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."

As a parent, you never want your child to feel as if the "weight of the world is on their shoulders." Jesus did. He felt it. Mary felt it for Him. That's not recorded, but as a mother myself I feel that it's true. You stress when you your child stresses. You hurt when they hurt. You mourn when they mourn. And in that sense (also not recorded) I wonder if Mary and Jesus were ever mourning the loss of each other. They both knew what was to come. They both knew it had to be done. But with Jesus being just as human as you and me, I have to wonder if he mourned for his mother and having to leave her so soon. He obviously was concerned about her being alone when He said, {John 19:26-27, NIV} 26]"...'Woman, here is your son,' 27] and to the disciple (John) 'Here is your mother.' From that time on this disciple took her into his home."

As we go into the Christmas season, I find myself trying to put myself in Mary's shoes. As different as our situations were -- as mother's I know we have the same heart. She was just an ordinary woman who carried, birthed, and raised an extraordinary man.

IT'S A WHAT?????

There was this one time, when my car was making a mysterious noise. I hadn't heard it consistently enough to say anything to Lee.

Once, I continued to hear it for about a week or so I decided to mention it to him. I insisted,

"It's weird. If I turn to the right, I can hear it rolling to the left. If I turn to the left, I can hear it rolling to the right. But the strange thing is: If I turn to the right, it will roll to the left. If I turn to the right again -- nothing happens. It's like a rock or can is rolling around, back and forth, in the trunk."

I don't know anything much about cars, but I know that's not normal. The funny thing is is that the car was driving perfectly fine. Nothing was happening any different. 

I am OCD about certain things. Specifically, I am more "O" than "C." By that I mean: clinically, OCD is obsessive thoughts with compulsive behavior. I don't have compulsive behaviors that often. However, I do have obsessive thoughts. Or as Lee so lovingly puts it -- I "fixate." Once, I have my mind set on something I obsessive about it. I think about it, easily, five to eight times an hour. I will think about it. I will question it. I will talk about it. And I will continue until it's settled. What's bad is, once it's settled, I usually will find something else to obsess about later. 

{Small example: The other night I went to bed with dishes in the sink. I do this often, but for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about it this time. The reason they stayed in the sink was because I didn't feel like unloading the dishwasher. Well, I dreamed about those dishes all night long. Then I woke up fifteen minutes before my alarm went off -- thinking about those blasted dishes. So I got up at 5:45 am to do dishes. Give me a break. Now back to my car...}

I obsessed about this noise for three weeks. Non-stop. Lee striped the trunk of my car. He took everything out, all the way down to the frame of the car. He did this four or five times. The noise was coming from the back of the car. We thought for sure we were just missing something. It had to be in the trunk.

Well, after about four weeks going on five I called someone to look at it. This is a man that I went to church with growing up. He used to be a mechanic before his current job. We took him my car on a Sunday afternoon. He wanted us to drive him around so he could hear it. We made our first right hand turn and he heard it. He made the strangest face and said "Wow. That is weird." I just remember thinking "Oh, great!! This isn't going to be good." 

We went back to his house. He, also, thought it was coming from the trunk. He and Lee dug in that car for an hour and a half. And nothing -- they, again, found nothing. 

I was inside the house, but Lee said after so long they had given up. As Dennis was closing the hatch he started shaking the door. Lee said that he was trying to see if maybe the noise was from the door and not necessarily in the car. But, of course, nothing. He closed the hatch. Then he started pushing/shaking the entire car. Lee said he looked up with a strange face. He reached on top of the car and there it was! Dennis pulled down a WALNUT! There was a WALNUT rolling around on the roof of my car. I have a rack on the top of my car. Apparently, the walnut had gotten stuck up there and couldn't roll completely off. 

I can't make this stuff up, people.