do-over.

I like pictures. Actually, I love pictures. The last few nights I've had a hard time falling asleep at night. At night I've been laying in bed looking at pictures on my phone, over and over. I find myself looking at these pictures and trying to remember the emotions of that day. I try and replay what all happened over and over. I find myself wanting a "do-over." Not a redo, but a do-over. Redo implies I want to change the way it happened the first time and that is not the case. I literally want to do certain days over. And over and over and over. I want to live certain days for more than the 24 hours they were allotted.

I would love to do this day over:

I love weddings. I loved our wedding. I want to get married every day over and over again. Obviously, to Lee ;) To me, it was so fun. Everything about it. Planning it. Buying stuff for it. Seeing your vision all come together is just exciting!! Lee on the other hand...well he is a typical boy. He hates weddings. He is just ever so disappointed  (complete sarcasm here!) when he has to miss a wedding because of work. I guess our wedding was alright, to him, but he definitely wouldn't do it over and over.

But our wedding was a day that our lives began. We had our lives together. From that moment on it was about us. It was about us and us as a family. Our own family. It was the most magical day of my life.

Then our family turned into this:  

My heart nearly explodes every time I look at these pictures. I will never forget how I felt the moment I laid eyes on this little girl. I want relive that moment over and over again. Even though, it was the most miserable, painful, and longest day of my life -- that face, with her every smile and giggle, was worth all eleven and a half hours! Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not convinced that I will ever have another baby. Those eleven and a half hours were horrifying. But what I am saying is that if I never have another baby, Hadley will be enough. She will always be enough. She has exceeded my every hope, dream, and expectation. I can't imagine my life any differently.