chaos

I've been out of the blogger world lately. We've been so busy and coming and going. It's madness around here.

Two weeks ago, Hadley came down with a runny nose. No biggie - until it turned green!!! T.M.I.?? Then she started pulling at her left ear! GREAT! We made a doctors appointment and got her checked out. No ear infection and no sickies - thank goodness!

This past Memorial Day weekend Hadley and I packed up and headed to North Missouri with my family, for the yearly family reunion. I haven't been in the last four years. This year I was determined to go. It is an eight hour drive so I was nervous how Hadley would do. She did great. But when got there she didn't seem to feel well. She was a little "off" all weekend. Then she came down with a fever. THEN she didn't sleep at night. She cried every five minutes from ten pm until midnight! So I let her sleep in bed with me. She has never, never, EVER, in her eleven months of life EVER slept in bed with us. That is the one thing I was adamant about never doing. Well, I guess things change when you're eight hours from home, without Daddy, and running a fever! OY! Luckily, on the day home, she seemed to act a little better. She crashed when we got home.

Then there is today - she woke up covered in a mysterious rash? What the heck is going on with my baby love? So I call the doctor and they suggest I bring her in today. I took her in and when the nurse came out she reached for her with excitement. THAT'S how you know when you are in the doctor's office too often. Apparently the rash is the result of a little virus working out of her little system. (see previous paragraph about her fever and acting funny).

...all while Lee is working nights! I have no idea how single mother's do it. They are super heroes.

fruits of our labor

We planted a garden this year. This is a first, for us. I'm very much an impatient person. It was fun to plant the stuff and dig around in the dirt, but I wanted things to just appear over night. Obviously, that did not happen.

Luckily, the past few weeks - we've been seeing the fruits of our labor :)

Lettuce

Cabbage: we have more plants, but this one looks the best

Tomato plants (along the fence line) 

upclose tomatoes - they are so cute! 

Squash plants

little cute squash growing: we've already eaten 6 or so of these...YUM!

11 months: little love letter

Hadley Girl,

Us playing together on Mommy's phone. This is one of your favorite things to do.
You're obsessed with phones.

11 months old!!! It's so hard to believe you're almost a year old! You're getting so big. You are really turning into a big girl and less of a "baby." I love watching you learn new things every day.

-Growth:
*You didn't have a well-child check up this month. I'm not 100% sure about your weight gain and/or length.
*You are still wearing 6-9 months and 12 months sized clothes.
*We've had to move your up in diaper sizes this week. You've got a skinny waist, but a big booty :)
*On that note (of a big booty!): You have a 12 month sized swimsuit that fits you perfectly except that you constantly have a little wedgie because it hardly covers your rump!...and that's without a swim diaper! ;)

-Eating:
*You eat 3 bottles a day: breakfast, lunch, and bedtime.
*You now like to feed yourself your bottle. This has come in handy more times than I can mention. I don't know why you never did this before.

Feeding yourself and reclining in your stroller while walking around the mall.

*You really love your steamed veggies.
*Your favorite foods are: sweet potatoes, carrots, corn, peas, and green beans. (In that order)
*Your newest discovery is cutie oranges and bananas. You love them and are obsessed. You will eat 2 cuties and 1 whole banana if I let you. Sometimes, I let you.
*5/10/2012: We went to Sam's to do a little grocery shopping. We got fountain drinks before we started. You insisted on trying to drink it. You had never been able to drink out of a straw before. Daddy and I have always had an agreement that we will always let you try to drink out of the straw. If you get whatever is inside then it was well deserved! WELL, low and behold - you had your first sip of Dr. Pepper. You hated it. You looked like someone just poured poison into your mouth. Well, the dummy that I am, I let you try it again thinking that drinking out of the straw was a one time fluke. NOPE! You got more Dr. Pepper and still hated it. All of that to say you've moved "up" in sippy cups. You now use a sippy cup with a straw, instead of a cup that you tip.

-Sleeping: There isn't really much change with your sleeping patterns.
*You start winding down around 8 pm. You take and bath, get into your jammies, then bottle.
*We've been having trouble the last few nights with getting you down. We have always rocked you until you fall asleep - then lay you down. I know..we've created a bit of a monster with this. But I think you're getting to the age/stage that you act as if you want to lay yourself down. The last 3 nights, we've rocked you until drowsy or until you first fall asleep then we lay you down. You have woken up before we even make it out of your room. But we watch you on the monitor and you woller around until you fall asleep on your own. Hopefully, we are on to something with this...

-Developments / Events: This was a month filled with many events!
*You went to your first babyshower this month. We traveled to OKC to meet up with friends then we all went to the baby shower together. It was a shower for my college roommate. She is due with a little girl in June.

You and Kelly (Mommy's college roommate) at the babyshower.

*You've gotten quite a bit of hair. We had a little lunch date planned with Nanny Carol and Papa Wayne to meet some of Papa Wayne's family. I decided that we would give the "fountain top" a try. (the spike as your Daddy calls it) You looked so cute! Luckily, you didn't bother it and you just left it there. You, now, wear it on a regular basis.

Fountain top ponytail! :)

*You were able to go swimming for the first time this month. You love the pool. I mean, really! It's possibly your favorite place on Earth. You think you can swim alone. I can't convince you other wise. You like to try and stink your head underwater. I'm not sure why. OH and you also love to have splashing contests with Daddy. You kick your feet as fast and as hard as you can to splash him. Then he does it back to you. You scream and giggle. Then it's your turn again.

Swimming

*You're walking more and more. You walk the most when we are at home. I think it's because you know the "paths" of the house better. You aren't too sure about walking with shoes on, but you're getting there. You really like to walk while holding someones hand. You're such a big girl.
*We had our first Mother's Day together. You (...and your sweet Daddy) got me a dozen pink roses and a card. You gave it to me early because Daddy is working a weird shift right now and wasn't with us on Mother's Day. Mother's Day was actually on Sunday so we got up and went to church. After church we headed to Grandma and Punkin's house for lunch. Bubba, Aunt DeeDee, Sierra, Dante', and Grace were there too. Grace just found out she had Strep so she didn't really get to play with you. I think you were a little disappointed because you kept watching Grace and trying to talk and play with her. But we had to be careful that you didnt' get sick.

We've had the best time getting to watch you explore new things each day. I love watching you get bigger. I'm so lucky and happy I get to stay home with you every day. You're Mommy's best little friend and we have so much fun.

I'll love you forever and ever! I promise!

Love,

Mommy

Happy Mother's Day!

The joy of my life. The apple of my eye.

I'm so glad God chose me to be your Mommy!

Obsessed

Has anyone ever watched the show "My Mom is Obsessed?" This show is nuts.

Each episode there are different women with different "obsession." I caught one episode of a woman obsessed with weight. A woman being obsessed with her weight (especially in today's society) is completely normal. BUT this woman's obsession was on another level: 

*She weighed her self every-single-morning.

*Works about every-single-day for at least two - three hours. 

She also obsesses about her daughters weight in fear that she will gain weight when she gets older. Everyone gains weight as they get older. This lady "blames" her weight issues on when she had her first pregnancy she gained 50 lbs. Totally normal. Maybe 50 lbs. was more than her doctor suggested, but still normal. She is so paranoid about her daughters potential weight gain that she: 

*Makes her daughter call her at lunch every-single-day so she can tell her the options the school is providing so she can tell her what she is allowed to eat and what she is not allowed. 

*Lectures her daughter when she eats anything that she does not give her permission to eat.

*Grounds her daughter if she goes out for pizza (or any other place that involves food) with her friends. 

*On occasion weighs her daughter if she feels like she has eaten things behind her back or hasn't felt comfortable with her meal choices that week. 

I'm serious - this show is nuts!...impartially this lady!

I just don't understand how this lady really thought she was "helping" her daughter prevent future "weight issues" by being so critical of her. It was more like she was preparing her for her future eating disorder and self-conscious body images. 

Our job as parents - especially mother's to young girls - are to empower them. 

To brush their hair, when they are 4 years old, and them how beautiful they are just the way they are...

To remind them, when they are 13 years old, that all girls go through that weird phase when we gain weight, change shapes, and feel awkward...

To set an example, when they are 17 years old, and teach them to dress modestly. (Cor. 6:19-20)

...so on and so forth.

You see where I'm going here.

"The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and good conscience and a sincere faith"

1 Timothy 1:5 NIV 

SO WHAT! Wednesday

This week I'm saying SO WHAT! If...

*I let Hadley wear pants that I know are too small for her. They fit her waist, but are so "high waters" that they are more like capri pants. She needs protection on her crawling knees.

*I made a big, late, lunch today because Lee was off work. Late lunch = snacks for dinner

*I'm considering doing the 7 day eat your heart out detox...

*Hadley shook her head "no" at me today and I laughed.

*The day is 2 hours until over and I'm just now posting this :-/

What are you saying SO WHAT! to today?

What were you thinking?

Sometimes I wonder what my Mom must have been thinking or feeling the weeks, or even maybe months before she passed away.

Even after she survived when doctors said she wouldn't, did she know it wouldn't be forever?
I think so.

When she had her first stroke did she know this was the "home stretch?"
I think so. 

These are questions I've thought of a million times and rationalized my own answers. Whether they be true or not, I'm comfortable with the answers I believe to be true.

It wasn't until I had Hadley that I questioned other things. Obviously, there were things as a young girl that I never considered. There were never things that I thought about even when I was pregnant.

It's in those dark, quiet moments at night, when I'm rocking her to sleep, that my mind begins to wander.

Did she know that in this "home stretch" that I would be left without a parent?
Obviously.

Did she know that I would be taken care of?
Of course. I currently lived with my grandparents anyway...

But the real questions I wonder:

How did she feel knowing I wouldn't have a parent?
How did she feel knowing she will no longer be here to take care of me?
How did she feel knowing she would be leaving soon?

I cannot even begin to imagine how I would feel if I knew I'd be leaving Hadley, forever, some time soon.
There is no one, in my mind, good enough to "mother" my baby like I could.
Would Hadley be healthy? O.K.? Taken care of? LOVED?
Absolutely. There is no doubt in my mind.

But she needs her Mommy.
...like I need my Mommy.

I, so often, think that it's a little strange for me to miss, and sometimes long for, my Mom and wish she were here. I never knew her as an "adult" so how do I know what I'm even missing? But I wish I never had to question any of these things to begin with.

As exciting as this Mother's day will be because I have my baby here with me this year, it will always be a little bitter. Maybe even more so this year...

SO WHAT! Wednesday

This week I'm saying SO WHAT! If...

*I haven't blogged since last Wednesday. I guess, I have nothing to say!

(Except for the giveaway post! Check them out!)

*I started the day at the chiropractor because I knew I wouldn't be able to function, otherwise.

*Instead of washing the dishes that don't fit into the current load in the dishwasher, I just leave them sit in the sink for the next load. 

*I dread cooking dinner four out of the seven nights of the week.

*I feel most motivated to clean house around 9:30 - 10 pm every night, after Hadley has gone to bed. Yet I still put it off until the next day.

*I let Hadley play in her bed after she wakes up in the morning or after nap - instead of going to get her immediately. If she is playing, she is fine. 

What are you saying SO WHAT! to today?

CHECK IT OUT!

Megan at In This Wonderful Life is hosting TWO giveaways!

Go check them out!

And while you're there...Check out her blog, her story, and her adorable little twins!

:)
http://www.inthiswonderfullife.com/2012/05/giveaway-from-me.htm


http://www.inthiswonderfullife.com/2012/05/naturals.html